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Only strong for so long

We ask ourselves numerous questions everyday, but we do not hold the answers. We live in a world where tragedies seem to outscore victories, but that makes everything appear much more complicated. The people we love are taken from us so soon, and yet we begin to blame everything on ourselves for the things we could have done differently. God has a plan for each and every one of us. We go through inevitable epidemics that change our lives greatly, and we get scars from these epidemics that haunt us for the rest of our lives. My experiences have changed me in ways I do not think I will ever be the same, and that very idea is scary. I look back on the past eight years I have lived, and I realize how my life will never be the same. I hold in the tears, puff out my chest, and let everyone around me know that everything is going to be okay. When all of that is said and done, I return home, close my door, and tears come streaming down my face like a waterfall with a heavy current. Tears let you leak out the pain you feel inside, and it is a never-ending battle between happiness and sadness. I hide away my pain because I need to be there for everyone else. I need to be the strong woman my parents raised me to be, and showing any sign of sadness makes me weak. But what happens when all of the pain I have endured becomes too unbearable? You can only hold it and be strong for so long. 

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