The Necessities of Life

 In your life, you are going to experience  moments of absolute loss of control and loss of humanity. When this happens, you have to remind yourself that it is not your fault. Something happened to you that is out of your control, and you have to set away the blame on yourself. The world can be a cruel place, and I do not think it is ever going to change anytime soon. Remember that you have people who love you and support you no matter what, and they are always going to be by your side throughout these hardships.  I know you feel like someone took something so sacred away from you, and that fire that once burned your soul has been blown out, and there is no way of getting back right now. You have the capability to try and fight for your life through this hardship, but it is also okay if you do not want to right now. You are allowed to be sad, you have to allow yourself to feel everything that you are feeling.  No matter what happens, and no matter what the end r...

In our lives, we are going to face sunshine, warmth, and happiness. We are going to be so content with our surroundings that we will forget about all of the troubles that have stood in our way. We will feel at peace with the world, and everything will just make sense. Other days, it will rain, with a great downpour of water that floods our greatest creations. The gloominess of the outside world will haunt your inner self as a cry for help. Sometimes, storms happen out of nowhere. Everything is fine for a second, then will quickly change into a rash, uncontrollable disturbance.  Storms represent themselves as chaotic turmoil. The thunder blatantly rumbles, causing a great loss of control. The lightning flashes, causing a light so bright it blinds you from seeing what is in front of you. The rain pours violently, soaking everything that stands in its way. We cannot prevent storms from happening, and we cannot control the destruction that may follow its presence. Not all storms are de...

Sleep is something that I crave that I cannot get. There is nothing more peaceful than laying in your own bed, wrapped in blankets, and just falling asleep. Sleeping takes you away from your reality into a fantasy of your own imagination. Sleep gives you a break from all of the hardships that you are facing. What happens when all you want to do is sleep, but you cannot seem to? I lay awake every night wondering about what is going on in my life and the rest of the world. It is truly annoying, having the path to sleep right in front of you, but there is a boulder that keeps you from going. Sleeping should not be hard, because I have been exhausted from the day's end. I lay awake at night, staring at my ceiling, wondering about myself and everything that I have been through. Worry is what keeps me awake at night. It is the fine line between departure and peace.  Sometimes, I wish I could just get pricked by a spindle on a spinning wheel like Sleeping Beauty, but fairytales do not alw...

 There is a sense of hope that I am feeling in the air. Many years of unresolved tension have finally been put to rest, and now I try to sleep soundly at night. Four years of nothing but ups and downs, lefts and rights, and it took one conversation to finally give me the peace I had been searching for all along. If I am being completely honest, right now I feel nothing but peace and confusion all at the same time. I am wide awake with the sound of the rain hitting the ground. The pouring rain represents every single feeling I have had hidden in my core, finally being released as a thunderstorm- chaotic and unnecessary, but calm once it is finished. I finally snapped.  I was once trying to become a girl that I was not. I was willing to change my entire life and being for one person, ignoring the toxicity of it all. Ups and downs, lefts and rights, and one conversation- a conversation that made me realize my worth is much greater than the effort I was putting in and not receivin...

 You may think everything is fine, but it really is not. On my end, I show a happy and positive exterior, trying to hide and avoid the problems and emotions I am facing on the inside. I am barely trying to keep myself together, but I am moving past these obstacles slowly and surely. I am not okay right now, and I am not going to be okay tomorrow. Healing takes time. Healing is all about growth, and I am growing each and every single day. We all are.  Heartbreak is something we are all afraid of, but we all are going to experience it eventually. The thing is, I never really thought about it when I started this. I went into it fearlessly, and I ended up with a wounded heart. My first  real  heartbreak and I cannot even allow myself to feel what I need to. Am I sad? Of course. Am I angry? Most definitely, but I am not holding a grudge. I have always felt that I need to be the person who brings everyone together, who fixes every wound, but that is something I cannot do f...

This past year was hard on everyone. Many of us lost jobs we loved so much, some of us had to adapt to a new way of schooling, and many of us lost significant loved ones. We all went through something that happened so unexpectedly, and we had no choice but to wait it out and hope for the best. For many people, it was an actual challenge to wake up every single morning and to get out of bed. The constant fear of not knowing what was going on was killing us, and there was nothing we could do but sit inside. We were locked away from the outside world and from the things we loved most. The world literally stopped, and nothing was going on. We had no choice.  Eventually, things got better, but they were still nowhere near as good as they were before. This pandemic we are living in will always be a nightmare, and some of us are going to live to tell our kids the first-hand experience that we got. Even though this was such a difficult time for everyone, we are seeing a light at the end of...

 Nothing will ever hurt more than the pain you feel when you wake up one day and the person you love is no longer in your life. There was no sudden warning, no explanation as to why they were leaving; they just left. They left you feeling broken inside like someone had sucked all of the life out of you until you were completely empty. The tears you have cried have only gotten more powerful, and the tears just won't stop streaming down your face. You made plans, and now you have to suddenly halt everything because this relationship is no more. Sure, you are going to be sad for many days, but eventually, it will get better. You can only hope and pray that someone better will come along, but that does not always happen the way you want it to. You tell yourself that you only wanted to be with this one person, no one else.  I know we have all experienced heartbreak before, many of us in different ways, but we have to remember that we are all in this together. We are all hurting bec...

 Right now, everything seems dark and cold. The black skies in your mind are haunted by a deep, saddened past, and you cannot escape the turmoil it has brought you. The never-ending days are filled with loss of energy, strength, and happiness. You cannot help but feel lost in your own deep and saddened thoughts of what you think you did wrong. Your past demons haunt your ever-present days that have seemingly different actions than you ever imagined. There is greatness from an outside light that is trying to shine unbreakable rays into this dark and twisted force that has taken over your entire body. Eventually, this light will crack the dark core of your past, and your cold heart will be melted away for good.  The past is the past for a reason. We must move past this saddened affair like a snake shedding its skin. It's a new cycle of wanting a new life for yourself, to learn and grow from our past mistakes. There is nothing more riveting than taking in a new adventure with ope...